Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Emptiness....


the grand ol' piano in 'my'living room...one of the things i'll miss the most!



Some pains are personal in nature, goddamn personal! No one else is supposed to understand what you are going through. This is one of them. As I sit here in MY room of my house…writing this damned post, I know it will be my last one here. No, if it were really mine, I would never have to leave it. Never. But that’s the catch…it is all mine right from the walls to the curtains, the balcony and the bed. The kitchen where technically, I did some of my first culinary experiments. Even the toilet seat, sitting on which I have smiled, wept, sung and come up with amazing ideas about everything and nothing!

This is the place where one fine morning, I had landed with my entire luggage clueless about this city and life. So clueless…that I didn’t even know that to the right of my house where I saw emptiness, there was actually the sea. It took me days to discover that. I didn’t know that when one walked right and took a left, one would actually reach the Gateway of India! It took me weeks to find that out. Ohh….I’m going berserk with the thought. I love the air in this house and the typical Goan food smell that fills that air, which I once hated. Most importantly, I love the people I have shared this house with and I owe them so much! The memories of our good and bad times lived together are neatly stacked in one corner of my heart.


It so hurts to leave a place which has so many memories tied to it. Here I have learnt my first lessons of life and independence along with so many other things. It has always been a comforting thought to return to this place after a long day. Why do I forget that it was never meant to be mine whatsoever? I was a ‘paying guest’ and a guest cannot be forever. But why did this day have to come so soon? I’m moving into a friend’s flat nearby and they say it would be more fun! Who cares? This is ‘my’ first house and will always be…
PS: This is one of those emotional posts which you write hoping it would lessen your pain.

5 comments:

  1. if i read this again i will quite literally fall into pieces..ohh..good so Emotional..
    but change is the way of life...i wish..new home will be even more forgiving ,rewarding..for u.....
    The way this post is written..one can..feel the pain and dejection u r going through...
    one of the best post that i know took just few mins(few means ...very very few) to write...
    Simply..Staggering..
    Keep writing..!!!!

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  2. one of the best post I've gone through...Keep writing!!

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  3. Well...

    You will come out of it soon. And who knows.. you ll have loadsa cherishing times in the new flat as well. Sure you will.

    And yes.. I wish you keep writing like all others have said bt wishing it to be ecstatic. Best wishezzz !!!

    All the best... Life moves onnn...

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  4. Do visit the place from time to time and it will make a difference to your life. Believe me.......I do it.

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  5. This is the way life take you from one corner to another...really no one can understand the feeling of attachment and detachment u had...But still we have to move on...

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